


Never again

by ilianka_smoulinka_91



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Friendship, Romance, canonverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-11
Updated: 2018-02-11
Packaged: 2019-03-16 14:25:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13638105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilianka_smoulinka_91/pseuds/ilianka_smoulinka_91
Summary: On the verge of death, they both regret what could have been but was never. But there is always an afterlife. Eremika oneshot with slight Jearmin.





	1. Chapter 1

_"Mikasa, what would have we done?"_

_Eren spoke softly as if he didn't want to disturb her. However, she wasn't asleep; she had closed her eyes to hear the sea sound breaking against the shore and the breeze that caressed their skin._

_Some time ago, Eren had wanted to be like the breeze, not only because it was free, but also because it could touch Mikasa's skin with no guilt._

_But he no longer felt jealous of the breeze, or the oxygen she breathed, or the water that slid down her skin. He could touch her now; He was selfish, yes, but he could touch her. He couldn't have gone to his grave without tasting that nectar of her body, or that sweetness of her soft lips._

_"Hmm?" she mumbled, opening her eyes, holding him a little closer to herself, Eren's back pressed to her chest. At her seventeen, Mikasa had lived through so many horrors and had been so afraid of losing her loved ones, that having him there made her want to never let go of him._

_And he didn't want her to do it._

_They had little time and he had wasted too much._

_Eren felt a lump in his throat._

_"What would have we done in a world without titans?"_

_She sighed. Day after day she had wondered exactly the same question, and so many others._

_What would have she done in a world without titans? In a world where her parents wouldn't have died ... And still, one where Eren had wrapped her scarf around her._

_But maybe she had no choice: it was one thing or the other._

_"I don't know" she lied. She didn't want to overwhelm him by letting him know what she thought ... They had enough with wanting it and not being able to have it._

_But Eren was stubborn and he wanted to know._

_"Do you want me to tell you what would I have done?" he asked. He heard her nod behind him, her chin resting on his head, rubbing that brown hair that was now a little longer than before. "The first thing ... I would never have asked you to cut your hair."_

_Mikasa made a laughing sound that made Eren smile._

_"Why did you ask me to do it?"_

_He fell silent for a moment._

_"Eren?" she insisted, pressing her hand against his chest. He laced his fingers with hers._

_"Because Jean liked it."_

_She moaned again. It was her way of laughing, her way of telling Eren she was happy; and he would never get tired of seeing her like that._

_In such a cruel world, happiness was scandalous and fleeting. But with her, it was like the rose that grew in the winter._

_"What else would have you done?" the girl asked. Eren straightened up to sit next to her and make her rest against his chest this time. He liked her hair's scent, he liked putting his nose in her head and tickle her; Mikasa didn't laugh, but he enjoyed watching her shudder under his breath, to feel her skin crawling under his fingers._

_"We would have gone with Armin to travel the world, after asking your father for permission. I would have courted you; I'd have stolen kisses from you when your parents weren't around ... Maybe I'd have kidnapped you to take you somewhere nobody could find us."_

_Mikasa's eyes moistened._

_She was lucky Eren couldn't see her._

_Time. Just time. She only thought about the time they had left and the time they didn't have. The time they were wasting sitting there; the time they could never make up._

.

A heavy breathing. A bleeding hand holding on to another.

.

_Eren continued after rubbing her hair with his lips._

_"I would've been a doctor, like my father, and I would have married you."_

_Mikasa wept silently. She wanted him to shut up; There was no point in talking about it._

_Eren had always been good at hurting her, even if he didn't notice. And still, he was the only one allowed to do it and get out unharmed._

_Wishes. Longing for what could have been and was not ... They were like knives that stabbed her over and over again._

.

"Don't leave me ... It's still too soon ..."

.

_"We would have lived in a cabin in the mountains, just like my parents." she dared to say. She herself had been amazed to be able to say a word._

_Eren laughed, kissing her head once more._

_"No. I'm not as calm as you." he murmured against her hair so that only she could hear him. There was no one around, but Eren had always felt a particular pleasure in speaking only to her so not even the wind could hear him._

_It calmed her down._

_Because she was trembling slightly and he knew why. He was not as dense as before: Eren had learned to read her; not only her skin but also her soul._

_The bond that bound them was stronger than anything else._

.

"Don't. Don't take off your scarf, Mikasa. It's yours, remember? I gave it to you."

A broken voice and a sweet and shy smile.

"It's okay, Eren."

.

" _You'll let your hair grow again?_ " _he asked, his arms wrapped around her. He could hear her breathing, and she heard his; rhythmic, calmed breathing, like the water breaking against the shore._

" _Maybe._ "

" _If we ever get out of this, would you marry me?_ "

_She sobbed. She wasn't so optimistic about it._

_But she didn't answer._

_And although it hurt him, he knew it was better not to insist._

.

Eren always believed that he would die first.

.

" _Would you take that thing off sometime?_ " _he joked, pointing to the scarf. This time he managed to get one of her smiles as she shook her head._

" _I don't think so._ "

_Lulled by the breeze and the sea song, both of them closed their eyes._

" _Mikasa?_ "

" _Hmm?_ "

" _... Have I told you how much I love you?_ "

" _Yes. But I love to hear it often._ "

_Eren smiled broadly._

" _I love you._ "

_Mikasa turned to him, cupping his face in her hands and kissed him sweetly._

" _I love you too, Eren._ "

.

Armin cried. Not even his hand in Jean's hand could comfort him. Neither his hug nor his presence.

She was his best friend.

Eren caressed the girl's face with his bloody hand. Neither he nor Armin could transform now; They were too tired. And seeing Mikasa wounded, all they could do was hide.

Levi, Hanji, Sasha, Connie ...

There was nobody left. Only the four of them.

Outside they could only hear bombs, weapons, people screaming. But all he could see her agony, remembering the time he promised her to give her a home.

"Mikasa, don't go." he pleaded, his voice breaking in anguish. She was bleeding and there was no way to stop it.

Still, she was smiling, as if she was happy to be there with him ...

To die in his arms.

And she was.

"Eren, it's okay ..."

"No. Nothing is ok. Nothing ... Everything is my fault ... Everything …" Eren's voice broke and choked, just like the time they were both on the verge of death, in front of the titan who ate his mother. "Stay with me, Mikasa."

"Eren." she said, taking her hand to his face to touch him and wipe away his tears. "I would have married you." she declared, answering the question she hadn't wanted to answer some time ago.

He sighed deeply. Eren cried bitterly, pressing his forehead against hers.

There was no time anymore.

There never was.

"I'm sorry, Mikasa ... Forgive me please..."

"You're always forgiven, Eren."

"I love you, Mikasa."

"See you later, Eren."

There was a kiss, and with it, one last sigh.

Armin and Jean saw him screaming, his voice torn, pressing the lifeless body against his chest.

Eren shed bitter tears, his face buried in the scarf she still wore.

When Marley's soldiers entered their hiding place, Eren knew his time had come too.

Then he understood.

It was not a farewell.

"See you later, Mikasa." He said, as he was dragged out with Jean and Armin, forcing them to separate.

Two pure titans waited for him and for Armin, to steal the colossal and the coordinate power.

Jean cried silently, seeing Armin smile to him.

They would meet in another life, just like Eren and Mikasa.

* * *

_A messy brown-haired boy walked down the aisle in the supermarket, absent-minded reading a comic book. A raven-haired girl with silver eyes fell in his arms as if by magic. Actually, she had been trying to fit bottles on top of the market shelf, but the ladder slipped. It was a coincidence that this boy came by to catch her just in time._

_"I'm sorry ... I fell ..." she said, slightly ashamed. So she got out of his arms and ironed her apron._

_"Are you ok?" he asked, forgetting the comic that had fallen to the ground._

_"Yeah. Thank you so much."_

_The girl turned her back to him as she left. But there was something disturbingly familiar about her._

_"Hey." He called, stretching his hand as if he wanted to touch her. She turned around again._

_"Yes?"_

_"Eh ..." he stuttered. "Do we know each other from somewhere before?"_

_She arched an eyebrow._

_"I don't know. Maybe. What's your name?"_

_"Eren. Eren Jaeger."_

_She stretched her hand and he shook it._

_"I'm Mikasa. Mikasa Ackerman."_

_Then they looked into each other's eyes and the memories came to them like a horror movie they didn't want to live again._

_Eren wasn't going to let her go._

_Never again._


	2. Chapter 2

_Armin was in a hurry, he was late for his 8 o'clock class and wanted to kill his best friend and roommate for not waking him up. But who could count on Eren? It was a miracle that he didn't forget where he had left his head._

_The blond boy took his books, went downstairs, got on his bike and went outside, peddling as fast as he could so he wouldn't have to go through the shame of everyone looking at him when entering the classroom. He hated being late; he hated anything that made him feel incomplete; because Armin had always felt that something was missing. But that wasn't his lucky day. It started raining, his books got wet, and a petty thief took advantage of the rain to steal his bicycle. He was about to burst into tears, sitting there on the sidewalk, wondering what he would do now._

_It was all Eren's fault. He was going to take revenge on him as soon as he saw him._

_Until a kind hand stretched before him, helping him to get up._

_An open hand, light brown hair, long thin eyebrows, and brown eyes beneath them. That unknown boy returned with his bicycle, safe and sound, and now he gave it to him. He had no idea how he managed to take it away from the thief._

_"Such a day, isn't it?" the strange commented, helping him up. Armin stood up and nodded._

_"Thank you." He said while the boy helped him to pick his things up. Armin couldn't believe it._

_"You're welcome."_

_"You saved my life." He joked, leaving all his wet books in the bike basket. "I thought I wouldn't have a way to go to college today."_

_"All right. It seems you're late. At this point, I wouldn't go if I were you."_

_Armin chuckled._

_"Under the circumstances, it's not a bad idea. My name is Armin, by the way."_

_The ash-haired boy nodded, stretching his hand to him._

_"Nice to meet you. I'm Jean Kirschtein."_

_Armin's eyes opened wide slowly, astounded._

_Jean._

_The last time Armin saw him, it had been in a place that now seemed implausible; in a strange and distant world, bloody and cruel._

_But now he knew that he wouldn't be incomplete anymore._


End file.
